manicの日記

2006-07-01

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先日私はでどうしようもなかったので仕事を休んで、これ以上休めないと言うところにきてパニックに陥り、オーヴァードーズをしてしまいました。

それがきっかけで妻が手のひらを返したように私に敵意をむき出しにして心ない言葉を投げかけてきます。甘えかもしれませんが、からくる自殺行動は多くの場合、本人の意志とは無関係に、不可避なものとして厳然とあります。彼女はそのことがどうしても理解できないようです。

多くの原因が私にあるのは明白だけど彼女自身も変わらないと彼女のこれからの人生が不幸なものになることは目に見えています(何しろマイナス思考なのです)。先日私は貴重な体験を通じて重要な“気づき”に到達したのですが、彼女はまだ他人を呪うことで自分の人生の豊かな精神生活が阻害(疎外)されていることに気づいていないようなのです。私はもはや彼女に何の助言も与えるつもりはありませんし、私が助言したところで彼女がそれを素直に受け止めるとは思えませんが、娘が妻の手によって育てられることを考えると娘の将来が心配でなりません。あれだけ怒りのパワーがあるならもっと生産的なことに向けられればいいのにと思います。

妻2007/04/20 01:18見ました。

manicmanic2007/04/23 22:41ちっとも更新してないから状況も心境も今とは違うからね。

2004-08-14

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 子育てはアッパーじゃなきゃできないよー。。。。くやしー

as_black_as_jetas_black_as_jet2004/08/15 06:20[保育]がんばれ。がんばってください。子育ては一人じゃ無理だから。がんばって。ヽ(゚д|

manicmanic2004/08/16 02:13ありがとうございます。子育て自体はある程度慣れてきてそれほど大変ではないのですが、自分の時間がもてない事によるストレスが夫婦共に大きいです。歌歌ってやったりあやしたりしないと行けないのでどうしてもテンションがあがり気味になってしまいます。

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